Is self doubt sabotaging you?

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

I've spoken about criticism and how to accept it, but I haven't spoken about the toughest critic of them all, you. We all have those voices that make us doubt ourselves and send us down a path of self-destruction.

I've struggled with self-doubt before, especially after multiple rejections from employers. You feel like you've done something wrong when you know you haven't, or you doubt your abilities to complete a task you've done a dozen times. Identifying the reason for these thoughts and feelings can help you overcome your doubt.

Ask yourself where these feelings are coming from. Are you the one who's unhappy with your work, or do you think others will find fault and that's what's making you doubt yourself.

If you believe you can't, then you can't. Thinking back to past failures is a common reason why we start doubting ourselves. We remember a time when we failed at an activity and then convince ourselves we can't do it, based off that one time. Because we don't believe we can do the activity we don't put in any effort and so we fail again. Creating a cycle that continues to convince us we can't do it. If you challenge this belief and break the cycle, you'll see you're capable of more than you think.

Fear is another thing that causes us to doubt ourselves. When we think of the mistakes we could make our mind often goes to the worst outcome, but how often does the worst outcome happen? If you've made a mistake don't let it bring you down. Everyone makes mistakes, but don't let the fear of doing something wrong hold you back. If you're unsure of what to do, ask questions. If you do make a mistake learn from it so you don't make the same mistake next time.

I find my self-doubt comes from what I think others are expecting. I place their expectations high and then doubt my ability to deliver the quality they're after. But I've found what I think people are expecting, and what they are actually expecting usually aren't the same. What I've done has been more than enough and my worries were for nothing. Perfection isn't always required, so If your self-doubt is coming from a fear of not being good enough, finding out what is expected of you can put those fears to rest.

Thinking back to all the times I've been successful is another great confidence booster. I may never have done the task I'm worrying about. But knowing that I've been successful at similar tasks gives me the confidence to give the task a go. When I graduated uni I was told not to shy away from challenges that push me out of my comfort zone. You may doubt your abilities to do things you haven't tried before. But those are the things you should do, as they lead to new opportunities and a new found confidence in your abilities. So give something a go before you give up.

Finally, remember you're not alone. If you're doubting yourself or something you did that day, talk your concerns through with friends or family. I know when I'm questioning things I did during the day, talking it through with people helps put things in perspective and most of the time it shows me that I made the right decision.

While you are your worst critic, you're also the person who knows your abilities the best. So instead of focusing on the negative look at the positive. Think about all the times you been successful and you'll realise that you're worrying for no reason. So how do you control your worries and stop self-doubt sabotaging you. Let me know in the comments section below.

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