Working with difficult people

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Whether it's your boss or a co-worker, every workplace has difficult people that make things harder for you. Dealing with difficult people at work can be challenging, but it's an important skill to have.

Difficult people come in all sort of varieties. Just to name a few there's, gossips who never stops talking, bullies that constantly criticise everything they aren't a part of, and unreliable people that don't keep the commitments they make. From my experience those that see you as a rival or a threat to their position are the worst, they don't want you to succeed and often have a more hostile attitude towards you.

Address the issue

The longer you leave it to address problems caused by these difficult people, the harder it becomes to reach a solution. Dealing with problems is never easy, but nothing is going to happen if you ignore it and hope it goes away. Ignoring it may appear to work for a while, but there's only so long you'll be able to put up with it before you snap, and lash out irrationally. At this point you're now part of the problem, maybe even more so then the other person. Don't put yourself in this situation, address problems early.

Don't make things worse

When you address issues you have with other people, you should avoid doing things that will escalate the problem. This means, no passive aggressive or rude notes given anonymously to people, no gossiping or complaining to other people around the office in the hopes that peer pressure will cause them to correct their ways, and no pranks that start to escalate between the two of you.

Approach the situation in a rational and productive mindset and it will go a lot better for you, if nothing else you make sure you're not contributing to the problem, and make it easier for you if you have to take the matter to your boss.

First things first, examine the situation and think it through. We all have bad days were everything just seems to annoy us, is this one of those days? Also, give it some thought and consider if you're the problem here, are your buttons easily pushed, or are you just overreacting? I've only ever met two people that affected me this way. No matter what they did, everything about them just annoyed me. I eventually came to the conclusion, that I may be the problem, when just hearing them talk had me wishing they'd go away.

Think things through and determine if the source of the problem comes from their actions, or yours.

Once you've narrowed down the source of the problem, think through how you're going to handle it. Your first thought may not be the best, especially if you're all worked up and not thinking clearly. My friend and I will often bounce ideas off one another for advice on whether a decision one of us is going to make is the right one. Being separate from the issue allows the other person to given an objective opinion that isn't based on their current feelings. So turning to a friend you trust can give you a useful perspective on the matter.

Do you need to get your boss involved?

Before you go to your boss or the other person's, think about the severity of the situation. Do you really need management to step in and resolve the situation for you, or can you handle it on your own? Don't be afraid to take a problem to your boss, but If you take every minor issue to them, before you try to solve it, eventually the result will be a reputation as a high maintenance employee.

You can approach the person you're having a problem with publicly, but that will make your issues known to everyone, and is often more confrontational then if you were to just have a quite word with them in private. When you talk to your co-worker go through what you've been experiencing and mention how their actions are impacting you. Your goal should be to let them know how their actions are affecting you and reach an agreeable solution that minimises the impact.

When discussing issues with other people, don't be aggressive out of the gate, they may not actually know that what they've been doing has been affecting you in the ways you describe. However, be prepared to come across people that know full well what they've been doing, and simply don't care. A polite and pleasant tone will help the discussion, if nothing else you'll know you've handled it correctly and it may now be time to approach your boss with the issue.

So the overall idea I want you to take away from this video is, when dealing with difficult co-workers don't add to any problems you experience by reacting rudely or aggressively. If you have any tips for handling difficult situations, or have handled situations where you had to work with difficult co-workers, let us know in the comments below.

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